losing weight!

Hello everyone :)

Today i got up at 7 in the morning... TO GO JOGGING! yes.. believe me, i started to go jogging regularly some time ago. Before i was like the most untalented person in sports ever, i was as unathletic as an 150 kg women -___-;

now i´m more like an 100 kg women :D hahahahahaha

the reason for my unexpected change of mind was that i noticed i couldn't even run fast enough to catch the bus when i´m a bit late, even the bus stop is only a few meters away from my house. I´m still young, so there is still time to change!
I also want to live more healthy.
And of course i want to lose weight like almost every girl in this world.

(i took this pic about 3 weeks ago, already lost 2-3 kg)

AND WOW !!! i´m feeling SO GOOD now, i improve so fast and every time i go jogging i can go a bit further or reduce the time i need for a certain course.

i´m doing better and better now and this motivates me so much. I never liked sports before in my life, i always thought it only hurts and i´m not talented anyways, so I'd rather don't do it. - sweating --> bahhh 

i actually did exercise before i went to china in 2010 because i wanted to look hot for my boyfriend, so i went to the fitness studio of my university very often. but i kind of hated it and it cost me so much time and really really stressed me out. i lost so much weight back then because i forced myself and didn't eat, tried out many different diets etc. 

(Ahbao, me, my exboyfriend)

Until i had 55 kg (I´m 177cm tall, this is a BMI of 17,6 normal BMI for my age is 19-24!)


but when i came back to germany i started eating like crazy because i was unbelievably sad... i really loved him and i didn't want to leave china, i didn't want to leave him and his nice family...

so i gained weight again... more than i ever had.

and now i started jogging and it really helps me losing weight in a more healthy and reasonable way. i don't want to be thin in 3 weeks, i don't expect that. 
It's a slow process, but i have time and i want my weight to constantly be around 57 kg

i now have a BMI of 19,5, still feeling a bit fat ._. but i think i will become thin again!

baby apricot & trip to the dam lake

This morning i found baby apricot at the supermarket! 

So small & sweet... i totally love them. 

Reminds me of those baby mango i love to eat when i´m in China. I miss baby mango so much X___X so sad we cant buy it in germany ...

look how small they are next to the nectarine

In the afternoon we all went to a lake pretty near from our dorm, my friends were swimming and i just enjoyed the free time lying in the grass, watching airplanes passing by

what a beautiful day!

Going out & new stuff

♣ Hello everyone ~

Today i want to tell you about some new stuff i bought recently :)

But first i want to show you my outfit of tuesday night!
I dont go to clubs often, i just dont have much time because i have to learn a lot for my upcomming exams... but this tuesday i went out with 2 friends! Wednesday was free because of a holyday, so yeayyyy time to go party!



 





    i was wearing a short black dress & black high heels, 
    my Dior bracelet i bought in japan 5 years ago and two 
    other bracelets.
    I painted my nails metallic pink ♥  i like it a lot :)
    (strange background is my kitchen la... )

    and i´m really proud of my long hair :))) it took my a     
    very long time to grow it, so i´m very happy that it has 
    an acceptable length now, even without extensions!











 

closer pic of my makeup that day:

gold & orange eyeshadow,
fake upper lashes,
rose blush &  a bit lipgloss

notice my uneven bangs? -___-::
yes... well.... i cut it myself la X___X

not enough time to go to the hairdresser, 
so i had to do it myself.

i.. will.. never.. ever... do... this... again ! -__-:

well at least i know now... i´m definitely not talented at cutting hair!







i liked my outfit & makeup that night, but nevertheless... not sucessfull. german boys kinda dont like me .but thats ok. i´m not searching for a boyfriend right now. i must concentrate on preparing for my final exam!

well there is this one cute guy... but he is a bit younger than me and i guess i ruined it already as he doesnt write me back -___- but maybe he is just too shy or anxious? (problematic much... as he is not only younger but also... nah i cant tell you ;D its my scret lahhh!!!)



ok now.. here is what i found online a week ago,... ok... JieSha found it and i copied her and bought it as well *_~



super cute overall with rose-pattern! i got it for 7€, its so comfy and i just love it! ok overalls really tend to make you look fat in some ways... but i still like it ♥__♥  sorry for the heart over my face ^^; i didnt wear makeup, i took this pic to show it to my friend in first place and later decided to post it on my blog as well ;)

now - as promised - something about my teeth whitening:  
i´m already super super super annoyed by wearing those strips 2 times a day for 30 min. for real... how can anyone sleep with this thing inside their mouth??? its horrible!!! it tastes extremly bad and i cant do anything while wearing them because i start to drool like a freakin dog.  i put tissues inside my cheeks (attempt to make it similar to the dentist method) and watch TV to distract myself. (doesn't work well though... i check the time ever 30 sec -_- ) While pulling the strips out after 35 min (i really cant take it any longer) i feel like i have to throw up and immediately brush my teeth. i hate it. but i still want to have white teeth. so i really really hope that my teeth are going to be white after those 7 days, today is day 3, still 4 days to go. i think my teeth are a little bit whiter, but not so much others would notice. 
i still think the best method of bleaching your teeth is letting your dentist do it. It costs about 300 € but i think its totally worth it, as you go out of the dentists office after 3 hours and your teeth will be perfectly bright and shining.  sadly i dont have much money now as i still am a poor student -___-
ok i will show you before & after pics at the end of my experiment in about a week. 
  ♥ thanks for reading  ♥

how to deal with losing a friend?

These days i thought a lot about my realtion to others.

Am i a nice girl? Do other girls want to be friends with me? 

I only have a selective amount of friends that i meet outside of university. Now one of my closest friends moved to miami and one stopped talking to me (i still dont know the reason, but i guess its because of her new boyfriend).

So i now have 2 friends here in germany that i meet almost every day because we live in the same student dorm ^_^; and one who lives in Bonn, so we dont meet often, but we chat every 1-2 weeks.

Another friend (now not a friend anymore), came to my parents house a few days ago and said very mean things to me. like, i was an arrogant bitch, and that i will be all alone one day because of my nasty and stupid attitude. He talked about my other friend who stopped talking to me, and said it's all my fault. He was angry, because i accused him of lying to me about my ex-bf, he obiviously did, very simple to prove.
i dont like to be lied on, but i told him before i´m not angry about this and to lets just forget about it. But then he attacked me, without warning he came over to insult me. 

I was so shocked i immediatly kicked him out of the house. He then said we are no longer friends. i only replied "fine, and now please leave my house". 

This day i`ve lost a friend again.

So i seriously have to think about my own attitude towards other people. 

This one friend who stopped talking to me once told me i´m a self-centered, arrogant person. It's true that i like talking and i like to be in the center of attention, but i listen to my friends as well, and i´m always honest and i try to give them advice when they ask me about my opinion. 
When she needed me as a friend, i was always standing beside her, she slept over at my place when she felt lonely and sad and i always tried to be a good friend and comfort her.
(i feel like i have to explain myself x.x )

Am i really that bad? I dont want to be a bad person and i DO care about what others think about me ~__~

i live in constant fear that I'll say (too much or) something that makes people think I'm weird or make them dislike me.



I admit that i dont like most of the people i get to know. Honestly... i dont know why.... but i know that i´m not an "easy to be with"-person either. 

But why do i lose my friends? And why is it so hard for me to find new (true) ones? 

Maybe i´m not nice enough, not gentle enough. My mum often tells me to be more gentle, she says that a "dragon" like me will never find a husband.

I will really try to improve my personlity and to be more friendly. fighting!!! 加油~~

but i came to the conclusion that i already have nice friends who love me for who i am! and that is most important in this world! i will concentrate on being nicer to the ones who love me!


  - I dont want you to love me, IF YOU DONT WANNA LOVE ME FOR ME -



.... i still worry a bit... how am i going to survive in my future working environments? 

and i really miss my friend Miss-K-SuperLuv...