wow hotpants!

oh wow... 

i just packed my stuff for the weekend and because i´m not a very tidy person i had some difficulties finding one skirt i wanted to wear on saturday. But then... out of nowhere in my closet... those hotpants!

i bought them online this summer and when i first tried them on they were super tight, like toooooo tight,.... i never wore them. not even once XD

because ya my hips, my ass, my legs... it just didn't fit me.... i was too fat, obviously.

but those times are over now!!! OMG !!!!!!! i tried them on... and they suit me, there is even some space, they look so different on my new thinner me ^^; 

i really cant believe that its such a big difference already, i didn't realize that i lost so much weight, but those hotpants prove it. really .... the difference is like OMG i am so super happy now hahaha

that motivates me to go on doing sports.... and yes i plan on buying some new skinny-jeans ;) 

so if you read this and you want to lose weight: work for it! don't wait and sit around or try diets. just work out!!! 

♥  thanks for reading babies ♥ 

mum in heaven

hello again... 

i feel like writing about this now, very personal things, my feelings at the moment

i thought my life would go on after some time, i thought i am a strong person...

but there are times i just cant breath anymore. 
today is one of those days, i feel like i cant do it. i dont know how i can go on... when i try to focus on something, my mind goes off. i cant concentrate, i cant do anything. 

i spend my days with doing nothing. most of the time i am lying in my bed.
of course my boyfriend makes me happy and my friends are around helping me.... but when i am alone, i start wondering.... and thinking.... and all those memories come to my mind.

this song was one of the favorite songs of my mum




when i listen to this, i can see her face clearly... smiling at me... 

she always told me that she wants me to be happy, no matter what...because this is the most important thing in life. she always said i should not worry about my exam too much, i don't have to be afraid, because failing would not be the end of world for me. whats important in life is happiness... that i should never forget that 

i will never forget it.... i´m happy that i had the best mom ever

and i will promise myself, i will go on... and i will start to move on now and i will be strong and i will study hard and do my best for the things i want in my life!



                      


she encouraged me to see the positives instead of the negatives. i will never forget what my mum taught me. 

And even though i am not a religious person... i still think my mum in heaven will always be there for me, protect me and remind me of being happy

♥ ♥ ♥

skinny & falling in love

hello everyone...

havent wrote anything for some time now, i had a pretty hard time and i didnt want to write about it, so i just took a little break. Now i´m back.. yeayyyy ^^

i finally lost some more weight, this morning i had 56,5 kg which is pretty good already ^^ only 2-3 more kg to go and i´ll have the weight i want!

I have a BMI of 18 right now, thats slightly underweight already ^^; but i dont look underweight at all, i still got some fat arms and yaaaaa i dont know why that's supposed to be underweight.
like most of the girls at university are still a lot thinner than that i think.


#
but now something happend that i didnt expect and that makes everything MUCH better:

OMG yes, i fell in love!!!

finally some boy appeared, i cant believe it... i didnt fall in love for such a long time and its like this all over crazy kind of falling in love! i´m feeling like i fell off a bridge or something, i get nervous like a little girl and i dont even know why this happend...  but omg when i come close to him and i see his skin and smell his scent it makes me go crazy hahaha
on top of that he is chinese... and when he speaks chinese its so freaking sexy. I mean his friend speaks chinese too, but its not sexy o_O i dont know why... he talkes in a way that i like maybe?
(his friend is north chinese and he always has this weird "儿"- sound that i dont like anyways ^^;;; )

i know... i´m crazy... but chinese sounds really sexy to me... especially when they wisper something in your ear with soft voice omg *__*

and yesterday he touched my hips, i was wearing a coat, a knitted jacket and a longsleeve because otherwise i feel cold when i go outside.. so i was wearing a lot of clothes.... but then he said "wow you're really skinny" 

OMG !!! thats the 公主-feeling ! there is is!!

♥  thanks for reading  ♥